Tuesday, December 22, 2009

How NOT to Give Yourself A Spa Hand Treatment

17 Easy Steps : How NOT to treat yourself to a spa hand treatment:

1. Drop your paraffin warmer in the floor.
2. Make sure you have a batch of sausage balls in the oven that have to come out in about 2 minutes.
3. Don't forget to spill wax in the cat's dish so the food is one giant clump. It makes the cat food easier to clean up.
4. Stand there for about 2 seconds; so that you can process what just happened, because you believe this is surely a bad dream. Realize you are indeed awake.
5. Call for someone to bring paper towels & the garbage can. Call loudly because one is outside with a leaf blower and one is getting ready. No one is even remotely near by.
6. Thank the person who brought the can, saw the mess, noticed your happiness level and then hit the road quickly. You know what they say: "if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"
7. Realize you need a new garbage bag because the can is full & grab a spatula on the way back through the kitchen. You'll need it.
8. Rescue the sausage balls from the 400 degree oven; just in the nick of time.
9. Return to the scene of the accident & commence to scraping up all the wax you can only to realize there is still ALOT of wax on the floor.
10. Have a lightbulb moment! Get the hairdryer {and more paper towels}
11. Lay paper towels in the floor and blast them with the hairdryer. It's amazing how paper towels absorb re-heated wax.
12. Repeat, repeat, repeat, ad nauseum.
13. Take the paraffin warmer outside, avoid the temptation to throw it in the trash and bring that hairdryer. You'll need it because dried wax is all over the outside of the contraption.
14. Eat a few sausage balls with each trip through the kitchen. Nothing like some good healthy stress food while in the midst of a crisis. Give thanks that you had the where with all to get them out of the oven before they burned to a crisp.
15. Set aside about an hour of time and 100% of your temper. That will come in handy for clean-up.
16. Be happy that the family left for a bit so that you can gain your composure and have a few more sausage balls all to yourself.
17. Remember how blessed you are and look forward to actually dipping your hands IN the paraffin spa for your next treatment.

life is good!


Robin Hart said...

LOLOLOL.. that sounds like my life lately!

Amanda said...

oh my! glad you have a sense of humor about it.

Sarah & Jared said...

YIKES!! Glad to have gotten a good chuckle, but sorry it was at your expense!! I definitely don't have that kind of patience!!